Cosmic Sounds

intro

at twenty pounds
my money was as good as spent
it had a sound called ‘funny’ 
and an auto accompaniment
that went

[auto accompaniment] 

and I thought hell
well that’s a song there already
I ought to called Ed he
said he would be
into doing something on my new album

E: what do you want me to do
H: I don’t know, just say ‘easy now’ and i’ll loop it
E: well that’s cool, just as long as you don’t make me sound stupid
H: well that’s up to you kid
E: kid? 
H: all right Ed, I was freestyling you know? 
E: no
H: your voice is an instrument so use it like an oboe
E: alright then, I’ll give it a go yo

I’m an island dweller like the Komodo dragon
Ra! 
I don’t need a menu, ‘cause I know what I’m having
for tea
chicken and chips is my forty

H: forté 

E: forté and a nice glass of waté 

I bring the milk bottles in from the porch daily
then I go upstairs where I draw a lady
or a guy
in the manga anime way
that I like

H: one minute, two minute, three minute, four
before too long they’ll coming knocking at my door
and of course they would’ve heard the stories
but do they know what the score is? 
do they know that
sure enough
the tour is off
so, forget about it
‘cause the more I think about it
the more pissed off I get about it
but me and Malibu Barney
were just the beginning
like tomato and chicken
before I knew that
mulligatawny was my favourite flavour
nevertheless this hasn’t done me any favours
we were riding a crest
and I had a lot of faith in us
it seemed to me to be the best way
to combat the laziness
that was holding us back
but because of a lack
in communication back
when we were busy producing tracks
when we should’ve been relaxed
we just put each other’s backs up
but now I’m back and this time
nothing can hold me back yo

hedluv cd.gif

H30 LUV

yo it’s Hedluv
back on the road
fully taxed and MOT’d
with a fresh batch of new melodies
I’m like hot gazpacho soup
an MC rapping over a Casio loop
as for what I drive it’s a 1.3
F reg Nissan Sunny
and it’s red like Mario
I take it for a spin whenever I’ve got somewhere far to go
to
but I’m far too slow
to
drive a long way
‘cause I take too long
to
get where I’m going
I forget where I’m going
sometimes
and end up going ‘round roundabouts
two or three times
you’ll have to excuse me mind
there’s ash on the floor
and there’s dust on the dash
and the passenger door gets jammed
I keep a can
of WD40
in the glove compartment
in case my car won’t start
and that seems to happen
more often than not
but it was such a bargain
I coughed up on the spot
and I couldn’t live without it
when I’m off to the shops
in the rain
done waiting for a bus again
but now I’ve got a car to sustain
I’ve got to keep the money coming in
speak to somebody about delivering
leaflets door to door
it seems like more and more
I’m just working for my car

you may see me
driving in my car but
sometimes I wish we could all ride on bicycles
I’m never in a hurry
and I don’t go that far just
sometimes I wish we could all ride on bicycles
they could be electrical so I wouldn’t have to peddle up the hills
I don’t want to get political but petrol’s gone up 4p and I’m still
buying it
just because it’s a joy to drive to
places that might only take 5 minutes to walk to
certain places can be hard to get to
in the South West

a feather light touch is all I need
on the accelerator to get up to speed
better late than never right? 
in the dark I turn my lights on
when the weather’s bright I pull down my visor
I pull out
and pull away
and drive into town
on a holiday I might drive all around
in a wiggly manner if you were watching me from space
it resemble spaghetti or a strawberry lace
I don’t have any spanners but I know a man that has
I’ve travelled thousands of miles sitting on my ass
I am the man when I’m driving my car
with one hand on the wheel I can parallel park
take a handful of people to the caravan park
where we work in the summer making caravans sparkle
yeah we car pool
and we buckle up
because we are cool

hedluv car.gif

'druth

I’m a Redruth boy
making tunes in my bedroom
and boy I’ve made some good ones too
and this one goes out to my friends
that I’ve known since way back
when we were in playgroup
where I was always wearing my policeman’s helmet
going, ‘nee-na nee-na’ 
and being a helmet
but I was only three
man I couldn’t help it
kicking and screaming if I didn’t get the best ride on toy
at the end of the year day
but this didn’t make me many friends
until I mended my ways
on the outside was where I tended to stay
but outside was where I liked to play
in my underground lair
did I say I had an underground lair? 
well I did
and it was better than my treehouse
because I didn’t have a tree
I’d go and hang out down there once I’d had my tea
at that age you see
to be an explorer
or you needed was a BMX or a
spade
and for
the people next do to
give me my ball back so I can go to the park and play
World Cup in the tennis courts
or ‘Head, Knee, Foot’ 
depending on what sort of
numbers we had
all the fun that we had
growing up in Redruth
man I’d be sad to leave

I’m not trying to get out
and I know just why
because there’s everything I want
and more bedsides
in Redruth
I’ve lived here all of my life
and it’s alright
it’s got slides and swings
and some nice buildings
and all over town there are people milling
around
and filling their day
in the Redruth way

in Redruth
‘the home of the gas lamp’ 
me, Will and Ed, Matt, Dan and Passman
crossed paths in class
and had some laughs
in the type of town you can’t go out in wearing a hat
without
someone beeping and shouting at ya
‘nice hat!’ 
beep! beep! 
then speeding past ya
when we meet up
we normally get plastered
in the same pub in town
if we’ve got the cash ta
and (if we get the chance ta) 
we wouldn’t hesitate doing a dance to Aqua
so to my friends yo I’d like to thank ya
because without such great mates
my life would be a disaster
this one’s for them
but it’s also for you
because though it’s sentimental
it’s got a nice tune

Passman! 
take it away

I’m not trying to get out
and I know just why
because there’s everything I want
and more bedsides
in Redruth
I’ve lived here all of my life
and it’s alright
it’s got slides and swings
and some nice buildings
and all over town there are people milling
around
and filling their day
in the Redruth way

helmet.jpg

PE report

he has a growing awareness
of body control
an improving sense of balance
and can throw and catch a ball
he generally arrives on time
can work as part of a team
and has some understanding
of the need for rules
he can copy
a set movement pattern
shows imagination
some understanding of positions and spacing
at the intermediate level
he should be able to perform
with competence
at badminton and football

but I’m not sixteen any longer
I’ve gotta take it easy man
I’m twenty-three
and get wheezy when
I spend more than two or three minutes
running (running) 
count me in
when the fun and (fun and) 
games begin
no matter how much pain I’ll be in
after the game on Sunday
I’ll be playing to win
with the aim that one day
I’ll be able to run
all the way through a match
without stopping (stopping) 
I recently found out I’m not as
fit as a fiddle
I nearly passed out
had to sit my ass down
in the middle
of a game of five-aside football
on my twenty third birthday I could have died
and I felt like a fool
‘cause I haven’t exercised that much
since school
and I couldn’t get a touch of the ball
but now I’m capable
of running end to end
and I play keepy uppies in the garden with my friend

hedluv pe.gif

cosmic sounds

wouldn’t you like to go
to Super Mario World
hop on Yoshi
and squash the
Koopa Troopas
jump upon a Goomba’s head
and bounce above the clouds
run around at high speed
to highly
cosmic sounds

I’ve got the pad
in my grip
my thumb’s ready
on the thumbstick
three, two, one
kick the ball
and it’s on a quick
one on one
all against all
as team Donkey Kong
in ‘monkey football’ 
at least
that’s what we call it
in fact I can’t recall
what it’s really called
but I can tell you that it’s really cool
so uh
let’s get this sofa a little
closer to the telly
pull the
curtains shut
‘cause we’re gonna have a melee
all of
us battling in fours
button tapping in doors
on Warioware
which is a bit like a meze
of mini games
it can be hard not pull
a silly face
concentrating when it’s
winner stays on
I can’t stop playing
‘til the race is won
then I’m looking at the clock
wondering where the day’s gone
I waste one
after another
jumping on their heads
I am a Mario Brother

me and my little brother
we look out for one another
there’s no time for doom and gloom
just eat another Supershroom
with bouncing boots
a magic hammer
with Luigi I’ll pounce
and then I’ll slam ya
five bro points for a
Super Smash
you’ll never find us short of cash
we’ll knock a block
and increase our stash
Princess Peach loves my moustache
so even when we’re feeling blue
our jumping skills will see us through
defeat the boss and save the day
it’s not like work it’s more like play
I know I can depend on my bro yo
I know I can depend on my bro yo

sometimes I wonder why
I spent so much of my time
playing Goldeneye
oh yeah ‘cause it was that fucking good
we would all gather around mine
for a real good time
throwing remote mines in the facility
an RCP90 by my side
Licence to Kill
pistols
archives
or just for a laugh
throwing knives in the basement
or proximity mines
placement
was key to victory
and the body armour
didn’t harm your
chances neither

hedluv computer games.gif

joe the jungleist

hedluv pigeon.gif

my 3 notes

I’ve come a long way
since the days when I used to play
P.I.A.N.O in assembly
accompanied by drums and xylophones
playing the song to win all talent shows
it was one of the first songs that I ever wrote
inspired by a travelling music workshop man that spoke
of this scale that started on D
and ended on D
using all the white keys
it was an itty bitty ditty
and everyone that knew it
would goad me on to do it
though they weren’t into the new bit
or any of the new bits that I tried to add
‘cause I was a little bit embarrassed by this song that only had
three notes
D E and F
played over and over again a little bit like this

D E F E F E
D E F E F E
D E F E F E
D but I think you get the gist

hey yo
what was that tune
you know
the one you used to do
didn’t it go
do doopy do
do do doopy doopy do

I had other songs
but no one wanted to know
they’d say play that other one
you know
the good one
from all those years ago
at which point I should’ve said no
but
this underhanded put down
only fuelled my ego
and though they were only three notes
they were the best three notes
these are my three notes
the notes that we played at the talent show
where we all lined up with our instruments and hoped
that although
we were hot favourites
we’d taken a risk
and added a new bit
that really didn’t go
and perhaps we played it a bit too slow
I dunno
how did it go? 

D E F E F E
D E F E F E
D E F E F E
D but I think you get the gist

hey yo
what was that tune
you know
the one you used to do
didn’t it go
do doopy do
do do doopy doopy do

hedluv party.gif

Party Song

you’ve got your house free
let’s take the opportunity
and use it
bring the booze
we’ve got the music
let’s use it to have a good time

a good time
or a great time? 
‘cause the last time
seems such a long time ago
and you know that I’m ready for another
my mum’s done my washing
and I’m steady pouring Southern Comfort
with which I mix
cherry coke or Dr Pepper
depending what they’ve got in the Co-op
or whatever
man it feels so long
since we’ve all been together
never want to have not known
my best friends since forever
let’s endeavour to make this a night to remember
or not
a double shot
just to limber up
straight from my plastic cup
to my gut
where it erupts
in flame
although the pain is only fleeting
to be replaced by a feeling
most pleasing
as if all responsibility
was leaving my body
probably get ‘round to some shoddy
dancing
just give me a second I reckon
‘cause I need to take a piss and freshen up
before I get down

you’ve got your house free
let’s take this opportunity
and use it
bring the booze
we’ve got the music
let’s use it to have a good time

I’ve got an 8 pack
out the back
some green
and a fresh pouch of baccy
and I’m keen to get started
so I roll up a 2 skin and spark it
up
and I smoke it
‘til my head spins
when I stand up
I’ve got a good (good) 
spot (spot) 
in the kitchen
propping up the worktop (top) 
but I’m itching
to start hopping around on one foot like Afroman
360 degrees with half a can
and a handful of pineapple and cheese
on cocktail sticks as I squeeze through to the living room
please give me some room
so I can do the crab dance
in my parachute pants
just as soon as
‘U Can’t Touch This’ 
comes on
we will gather in a circle
and all sing along
‘it’s Hammer go Hammer MC Hammer yo Hammer!’ 
I’d love to dance like him
but I haven’t got the stamina
I shift my weight
from foot to foot
and alternate
with one hand over the other
there are many variations
of this theme
and the Redruth Party Compilation’s
got
everybody
in the room
doing what the Redruth Crew do best

which ain’t much
we confess
‘cept getting messed up
and talking shit
and we love it
we get trashed
dance like loons
crash and sleep ‘til noon
probably later
what could be greater

I said it ain’t much
we confess
‘cept getting messed up
and talking shit
and we’re full of it
we get trashed
dance like loons
crash and sleep ‘til noon
probably later
what could be greater

you’ve got your house free
let’s take the opportunity
and use it
bring the booze
we’ve got the music
let’s use it to have a good time

big+head+passman.jpg

big mistake?

I will wait
as long as it takes
for your heart to mend
while it does my heart breaks
I know
I’m probably making a big mistake
but I can’t help feeling
this feeling you create in me

you make me feel so great
when I’m hugging you
and you're like leaning in
inside i'm screaming
we should be together
but i know it never gonna happen
'cause you said so
so i'll just keep chattin'
and being around
'cause you seem down with that and plus
you said it makes you feel better
i couldn't feel any better
than when i'm with you, man
you look well cute in just your sweater

I will wait
as long as it takes
for your heart to mend
while it does my heart breaks
I know
I’m probably making a big mistake
but I can’t help feeling
this feeling you create in me

my relationship broke down
'cause you were around
i'm so transparent that my love was apparent
for all to see
especially for my girlfriend
that's why she ended it that night and left
left it up to me
to agree that i wouldn't see you any longer
but i felt my love for you was stronger
and i had to
i knew it was wrong but i did it anyhoo
and now we're both screwed

i know you still love him
i know that it hurts
i know that my feelings are so inappropriate
i know you still love him
i know that it hurts
i know that my feelings are so inappropriate

yeah i know that you still love him
and i know that it hurts
but give me a chance and i know
well i think that we can make it work
we've got a lot in common
we share an appreciation for the absurd
and we enjoy a similar aesthetic
man, i won't forget it
you won't regret it
and i cannot be deterred

I will wait
as long as it takes
for your heart to mend
while it does my heart breaks
I know
I’m probably making a big mistake
but I can’t help feeling
this feeling you create in me
x 2

now you're back in London
and i'm wondering when
will i get to see you again
when you coming down
so i can be with you again
'til then
that's all i'm gonna do
think about you and me
and how it's gonna be
when i see you again
i won't be able to pretend
that i'm content to be your friend
i read the messages you send
again and again
imbuing them with emotion
that you didn't intend to convey to me
they seem to say that you feel the same way
suggest a happy ending that i'm hankering after
the happy ever after
the hugs and the laughter
someone to look after
and you're worth it
know you deserve it
'cause you're perfect
 

caterpillars

I’d like to pick up and play my guitar
knock out an epic melody
dedicated to the places where
I like to sit
like the
the garden out the back
regardless of the fact
I never practice my guitar
I never play it anymore

reclining in the garden
I’m trying to find some words
I can rhyme in a line
and put into a verse
so I can sing all the time
like the dolphins and the birds
and let my eyebrows wonder like
they were caterpillars

I’ve been writing songs
since day one
and i’m hoping that one day
I may pay my way with them
‘cause that would be a lovely way
to make a living
and I can think of no better way
so I’m giving it my best shot
I’m Hedluv and I love
the South West
a lot of my time is spent
within a ten mile radius
a while away most of my time indoors
but when the sun starts to shine
there’s nothing I like more
‘cause what I really like to do
is kick back
for the afternoon
take a paperback
out into
the back garden
read a chapter or two
have a chat with who
ever’s knocking about
with nothing else to do
we can smoke an L or two
put us in a mellow mood
how about a kick about
our keepie-uppies have improved
and I’m happy to say
that there’s some stubbies
and some food
in the fridge in the kitchen
for when we’re through

I’m reclining in the garden
trying to find some words
I can rhyme in a line
and put into a verse
so I can sing all the time
like the dolphins and the birds
and let my eyebrows wonder like
they were caterpillars

hedluv bonfire.gif

We Came Here Not For Gold

control room

my day begins a little late again
and i'm running out of time in which to make it in
an industry
that isn't in to me
but i ain't giving in
so easily
i've got a keyboard with a new beat on it
a new album but i'm gonna sleep on it
spend as long as it takes thinking deep on it
'cause i've got a name and i won't cheapen it
my mum still tries to stop me
saying music is fine as a hobby
i need to get a job why not be
a teacher
like her but
i'm the driver (driver), the designated driver
i'll give you a lift if you give me a fiver
it's called We Came Here Not For Gold
whack it on and we'll go for a spin yo

the Passman i'm back
chatting crap all over the track
relax man 'cause you're in safe hands
if i drop the ball i pick it up where it lands
i'm thinking about making plans but in the meantime
i'm drinking mild out the can
writing my name in the sand
in ten foot tall letters
breaking mic stands
and trying on cable knit sweaters
for tea you might find me
grating cheddar cheese over baked beans on toast
but come Sunday and i'm around my mum's for a roast
i'll maybe wear a sweater but she'll be like
'where's your coat? 
if you don't wear a coat then you're gonna be cold'
i'm like, 'mum, give me a break i'm twenty eight years old
now bring me a nice slice of cake
like i told you five minutes ago
and where's the remote control?
'cause i wanna watch Flava yo'

passman beach.jpg

dreckly

yeah we’re doin’ it like you never knew it could be done
who else do you know that has this much fun
banging drum pads like it’s 1991
and going out of fashion mashing
Casio keys digital cymbals crashing
when all’s done and dusted
we’re gonna be bigger than Busted
before they busted
sweet like honey and
hotter than mustard
no I ain’t being funny
‘cause I’ve been to the year 3000
and people are still listening to Cosmic Sounds man
i’d like to welcome you to
our difficult 2nd album
who knew we’d be back
more hyped, more psyched
mics at the ready (ready) 
Hedluv, Passman and Ed
we hold it steady (steady) 
we’re holding it down for the Redruth crew
milling around town on a Saturday afternoon
like we’ve got nothing to do
in truth we’ve got a bunch
we just don’t be starting nothing ‘til after lunch
yeah i don’t be getting up ‘til after lunch

‘cause i’m doin’ it
i’m doin’ it dreckly
doin’ it
we’re doin’ it dreckly
doin’ it
we’re doin’ it dreckly
(i spend longer in the bathroom than Elvis Presley) 
‘cause i’m doin’ it
i’m doin’ it dreckly
we’re doin it
we’re doin’ it dreckly
(i lost my remote down the back of the settee
didn’t find it for at week ‘cause i’m doin’ it) 

it’s the way down ‘ere
way down ‘ere
we don’t do much in a day down ‘ere
i can’t get a job or get paid down ‘ere
but there’s no where to spend it anyway down ‘ere
that’s okay down ‘ere
i walk through a lovely landscape down ‘ere
that’s the pace down ‘ere
it’s country lanes, no motor ways down ‘ere
it takes as long as it takes down ‘ere
so i’m doin’ it
i’m doin it dreckly
when I drink tea it’s usually Tetley
i came from the 20th century
travelling at the speed of time
and I reckon that I might just make it in the nick of time
if they wait a minute at the finish line
and fall asleep they’ll get beat by me
the tortoise
but I’m doin’ it
like the chorus

dreckly
i’m doin’ it dreckly
dreckly
I’m doin’ it dreckly
dreckly
we’re doin’ it dreckly
when Ed’s on the mic he comes through correctly
it’s the E to the D
i’ve got it E to the Z
my maid made my bed
my mum made my tea
i’ve got it made
but 5 days a week
i’ve gotta get up early
to pay for my keep
up a ladder with a paintbrush
in a rush? 
matter-do-e have a late lunch
i work for my father
though he doesn’t pay much
if I want a home of my own
i’m gonna have to save up
paper (paper) 

so he’s doin’ it
he’s doin’ it dreckly
i’m doin’ it
i’m doin’ it dreckly
we’re doin’ it
we’re doin’ it dreckly
dreckly
are you doin’ it dreckly? 

D.R.E.C.K.L.Y. means ‘later on’ 
it’s one Cornish dialect that still remains strong
which could be the reason why we take so long
luckily Hedluv and Passman are worth waiting for

we’re like miners mining
you’ve gotta put the time in
dig it out the grime
and it come up shining
ain’t no diamonds
this town was built on tin
‘cause you gotta have something
to put your baked beans in

hedluv eating pasty.gif

the future!

believe me
you want one of these 'ere PC things
to make your life easier
burning CDs
that's a reason enough for me
'cause i'm a musician
that i want you to listen ta
so i'm on a mission ta
get in your head
like that game with the Rizla
and put my town on the map
or on Google Earth
and in your sat nav
take a photograph for the hell of it
take it home so you can develop it
pay a little more for the privilege
but at least this way you can pick 'n' mix
'cause it's the future
it's (it's) the future
get it all done on one computer
now you've freed up your time
you can put your feet up and recline

turn left
turn right
turn left
then go
right 'round the roundabout

you can read up online how to speak Dutch
find a good site, download some free stuff
learn how to make beats like me and such things like that
and get a recipe for pizza
well i used to love playing my Amiga
with the one meg expansion pack
the size of a lima
that's in the attic now with my box of memories
for the future
when i've got enough free time
to be swapping discs
every two ta
three minutes
like when i'm not on the phone
trying to fix my router
at the minute
i drive an automatic
and i'm telling you they're the future
you only need one foot to drive one
the other one i'm tapping to the tunes from
a stereo
we've got our very own show
when we hit the road
and we don't know where to go
we find out what the area code is
and type it into the route (route) planner
yo stereo
we've got our very own show
when we hit the road
and we don't know where to go
we find out what the area code is
and type it into the route (route) planner

it's the future
it's the future
just plug me in (in) 
to a computer
so i can commute
on the Information Super Highway
Facebook
MySpace
take a look at my face
and tell me what you think
'cause you know i need to know
post me link
to that wicked video
pity though that
i won't be able to watch it
still living at home with my dad
and his computer is well shit
antiquated
running Windows '98
now that ain't the future
but you know it used to be
back in IT at Redruth Community
programming BBC Basic
on a 386
never would have anticipated
that we'd be making music
with the aid of a computer
in the future
the future
the future

turn left
turn right
turn left
then go
right 'round the roundabout
'round the roundabout
'round the roundabout
go 'round the roundabout
go 'round the roundabout
go 'round
turn left
turn right
turn right
turn left
then go
right 'round the roundabout

hedluv roundabout.gif

hevvy reppin'

when it comes to the crunch
i'm a Crunchie
i pack more punch than a
KitKat Chunky
with peanut butter
there ain't no other
i get it crunk
like Cool Cutta
spread straight from the fridge
you can't believe this ain't butter
always swinging my wood
i never reach for the putter
my balls in the gutter
each and every time
i'm towing the line
an old school flow
a hype show
and dope rhymes
that's my M.O. 
i carry plenty ammo
but you won't catch me rocking camo
i leave that to G.I. Joe and John Rambo
never go commando
zip too quick and you'll end up in an ambo
your manhood
hanging by a string
you won't be doing no banging
with your dick in a sling
we keep the beat banging
like a tambourine
yo it's Passman
and the Casio King

yeah you know
it's them two guys with the drum pads and the Casiotone
so come on
come check out our show if you fancy getting your mind blown

i'm a show off
i like to take my clothes off
come hard then i go soft
'cause i put my all in
i ain't yet ballin' 
but i'm toppling walls like Berlin
with my wrecking ball swing
it's spectacular
i beat it up spread it smooth like a spatular
it's Redruth's most eligible bachauler
i'm Count Dracula
i stole your soul and i ain't giving it back to ya
how's that for ya? 
i rap and all that for ya
a real hepcat
i break out a scat for ya
i'll rub your back for ya
i'll wear a hat for ya
and set off the rocket
i'm hot shit
take a ride in my cockpit
yes please no cheese on my wotsit
tastes like bacon
i'm salt 'n' shaking
i'm hot i'm baking
i'm icing your cake in

yeah you know
it's them two guys with the drum pads and the Casiotone
so come on
come check out our show if you fancy getting your mind blown

aw yeah
who could predict this would happen? 
travelled through the rings of Saturn
and came back man
rappin' 
reppin' 
hevvy reppin' 
never ever half steppin' 
what do you reckon? 

yeah you know
it's them two guys with the drum pads and the Casiotone
so come on
come check out our show if you fancy getting your mind blown
yeah you know
it's them two guys with the drum pads and the Casiotone
so come on
come check out our show if you fancy getting your mind blown

hedluv sun tan.gif

old meddler

smokin'

before you go to the pub
make sure
that you bring your gloves because
with everyone standing outside smoking
the likelihood they'll leave the door wide open is high
and you'll be left wondering why
you're sitting on your own when it's 'rolly time' 
man it's freezing in here
and this atmosphere's lame
but at least my hair will still smell good the next day
whereas outside
they'll be having that debate
which Rizlas to use? 
is it greens is it blues? 
well, blues have got the glue if you're building one and passing it
but as to whether Cutters Choice has got glass in it
i don't know
but i wouldn't have thought so
it ain't the brand that i would have bought though
i know it ain't exactly weather for shorts
but once it is i'll be out here even more so

nothing brings people together like smoking can
and outside in the smoking gang
they're always talking about the weather and the smoking ban
can i borrow your lighter
how's it going man? 

you know a bond as strong as a nicotine habit
can help keep a friendship tight for as long as i can rabbit
on
and i can rabbit on and on
until the crack of dawn
or at least until my baccy's gone
i started smoking got a nasty cough
my parents wanted to know why
i had to pass it off
something going 'round college at the time
which it was
we called it dirt bar
smoked it and it cost
only five pounds a teenth
divided by three
and five times a day
we'd wind up our dealer
a trip to the Spar would be on the cards
to pick up some pizza and chocolate bars
because we were (we were) 
either (either) 
smoking rollies or smoking reefer
and if it's gotta be neither
then half of us probably wouldn't even be here

nothing brings people together like smoking can
and outside in the smoking gang
they're always talking about the weather and the smoking ban
can i borrow your lighter? 
how's it going man? 
nothing brings people together like smoking can
and outside in the smoking gang
they're always talking about the weather and the smoking ban
can i borrow your lighter? 
how's it going man? 

i should know better but i'll have a smoke anyway
even on the very day i say i'll give up smoking
i'm hoping that i'll give it up one day
maybe on monday
but not right now, yeah
i'll pinch the green bit from your Rizla packet
roll one up thin like a prisoner and tap it down
all the way down

hedluv+swim.gif

flippers

i was looking forward to catching some waves
but now i'm just caught up
in the break water
plus i've got this lifeguard guy on my case
with his megaphone on
and he's going on
'stay between the flags' 
but i'm flat on my face
and, 'it takes more than flippers
to be a good swimmer' 
i guess i should've put 'em on
once i was in there
but i'm gonna make mistakes
'cause i'm just a beginner

it's getting embarassing
i think i might pack it in
but it gets easier
when i start backing in
i got a gold star
once for doggy paddling
when i was a youngster
but it just doesn't cut the mustard
when you're swimming in the sea
that's why i'll only go out up to my knees
nah
i might go a little deeper than that but
i'm happier if i can stand up
i've got some ham 'n' cheese sandwiches
my wallet, goggles and my keys
in my rucksack
somewhere safe where i can see from the sea
this kind of cold can cause your nut sack to retreat
you can't hang around when you're only kneedeep
your friends will splash ya
man they have ta
it's the rules and your balls they'll be after
so i would take a run up and dive in but
you might trip up
if you're wearing your flippers

i was looking forward to catching some waves
but now i'm just caught up
in the break water
plus i've got this lifeguard guy on my case
with his megaphone on
and he's going on
'stay between the flags' 
but i'm flat on my face
and, 'it takes more than flippers
to be a good swimmer' 
i guess i should've put 'em on
once i was in there
but i'm gonna make mistakes
'cause i'm just a beginner

i'm like a fish out of water
when i'm in the water
not like a fish
like i feel like i oughta
be
what with living so close to the sea and all
front crawl? 
you must be jokin' 
i'm attempting breast stroke
but i'm barely floatin' 
just hopin' 
that some of the energy i'm expendin' 
will result in a little bit of forward momentum
at least
that was my intention

let's get some chips
climb the cliffs
find a seat looking out at the sea
i was on the beach once
looking out
and i saw a seal looking right back at me
looking right back at me
it was looking at me
that seal was looking at me

i was looking forward to catching some waves
but now i'm just caught up
in the break water
plus i've got this lifeguard guy on my case
with his megaphone on
and he's going on
'stay between the flags' 
but i'm flat on my face
and, 'it takes more than flippers
to be a good swimmer' 
i guess i should've put 'em on
once i was in there
but i'm gonna make mistakes
'cause i'm just a beginner
i was looking forward to catching some waves
but now i'm just caught up
in the break water
plus i've got this lifeguard guy on my case
with his megaphone on
and he's going on
'stay between the flags' 
but i'm flat on my face
and, 'it takes more than flippers
to be a good swimmer' 
i guess i should've put 'em on
once i was in there
but i'm gonna make mistakes
'cause i'm just a beginner

hedluv graphic.gif

Weird nature

our two legged movement
is one of the oddest on the planet
we are weird
we are weird
nature

i've seen Planet Earth
narrated by David Attenborough
i've got the DVD boxset
so i can watch it
when i like while eating chocolate
i've seen Life in the Freezer
real edge of your seat stuff
there were penguins
getting eaten
made me think
i'm glad i'm not a penguin
(penguin) 

our two legged movement is one of the oddest on the planet
we are weird
we are weird
nature

i've seen Life in the Undergrowth
a greenfly
up close
the inside
of a beehive
sitting
on my behind
cos i'm a human being
and i have seen things
like a mountain
made out of bat poo
pretty impressive but not a patch on what we can do

our two legged movement is one of the oddest on the planet
we are weird
we are weird
nature

from a birds eye view
through a fish eye lens
from the highest mountain
to the deepest trench
a lucky few have brought to millions
these images
that will live with us
i've seen the earth
from outer space
i've seen the hurt
the human race
has inflicted on it's seas
a polar bear
brought to its knees

our two legged movement is one of the oddest on the planet
we are weird
we are weird
nature

hedluv instruments.gif

wot u kno

just write about what you know
so what do you know? 
i don't know nothing
oh, what do you know
know about nothing? 
just write about what
write about what you know

the next song i drop will be an instrumental
it's non stop and it's driving me mental
walking to the shops or driving in my benz all
the time i write rhymes i don't need a pencil
or a pad
i've got it all up here
and i've had
it almost up to here
but when i look back
over my year
i can see at least i wrote some good rhymes though
yo
sitting on the khazi it doesn't stop there
i'll be rappin' in my head, man, i'm rappin' everywhere
rappin' in my bedroom
tappin' on my leg to
the rhythm
got so many flows i don't know what to do with them
i'm in over my head
laying awake writing raps in my bed
i've got old lyrics doing laps in my head
man, i've gotta get them done so i can crack on with the next
i wrestle a track to the floor
then pin it
and ride around on it's back until it
kicks me off
lay it down and spin it
a hundred thousand times or more then bin it
if it ticks me off
this is quality control at it's limit
any more stringent
you wouldn't of heard a minute of
hedluv and passman
know when it comes to the flows we ain't half assed, we ain't

just write about what you know
so, what do you know? 
i don't know nothing
oh, what do you know
know about nothing
just write about
write about what you know
then i'll write about nothing

you've got lyrics
i ain't got one
you drop bars
i ain't dropped none
you drive in your car
well i ride shotgun
you're like Sherlock Holmes
and i'm your Doctor Watson
well i'm down with that, man
the Robin to your Batman
you know i've got your back man
it's hedluv and passman
been best friends since school, man
i'm trying to write rhymes but rappers already wrote 'em all
sittin' on the settee
gettin' ready for my photocall
and anyway i ain't got nothin' to say
it's been the same since day one and i ain't gonna change
i speak in cliches and platitudes
but what i lack in imagination i make up for with attitude
i wanna be the raddest dude that you ever did see
reppin' the mic like in the west country
the best dressed sex pest in the south west
38 chest and i dress to the left
i rock a pair of short shorts
he's got no witty retort
i'm an athlete, man, and this is my sport
step off my tennis court cos i'm a smash it
get the Pat Cash and wreck it like Boris Becker
retiring replicants like Deckard
my soul is checkered
i bring the light and the darkness
and i've got infinite lives like Captain Jack Harkness

just write about what you know
so what do you know? 
i don't know nothing
so, what do you know? 
know about nothing
just write about
write about what you know
then i'll write about nothing
just write about what you know
what do you know?

nude 3.jpg

uncle ted